742617000027

uncyclopedia ----- wow

Wednesday, March 11, 2009,

found this article, fucking funny.. even though they were dissing my fave band..

from uncyclopedia

0 Sid- Turntables: That's right, you read that correctly. Turntables in a heavy metal band. Why? Because they can, mother fuckers! Sid's masks have gone from a gas mask, to a skull, to Mr Roboto. Why? Because he can, mother fucker!

1 Joey Jordison- Lead Drums: Joey Joridson's total lack of drumming ability led to the addition of two more drummers to cover up his bad drumming. In a rare moment of slipknot empathy, the band was too nice to tell Joey to leave, and kept him on anyway. His mask is a kabuki mask and we're told it's very scary.

2 Paul The Pig- Bass: Paul started out as a pig, then a chipmunk, then this dog thing. Why the obsession with animals? It's what he eats for dinner.

3 Chris Fehn- Backup Drums, Backup Growls: Chris was the third drummer to join the band because dammit, two just aren't enough; his other job is to "sing" backup for Corey, so in theory, he could leave the band and it probably wouldn't make much of a difference at all. He is the only member of Slipknot who does not wear a mask, as no mask in existence could fit over his dildo-like Pinocchio nose.

4 Jim Root- Noise Guitar: Jim Root was the only member whose mask got less scary over time, going from this angry big chin thing, to his real face. He wears tight jeans because he is unaware of who the fan base contains.

5 Silent "133" Bob aka Spiky Guy- Head Bobs, Button Pushing: Nobody really knows what Silent Bob does at their shows, or even if he's even a real member of the band. He's always there in the back, head bangin' away behind some sort of pedestal. It looks cool, though.

6 Clown- Backup Drums, Backup Screams, Baseball Bat, Sex with the Stage Props: Clown is completely unpredictable. He'll get into fights with anyone for any reason, so long as there is money involved afterward, and he'll bang on anything with in reach. He can do anything except play music. His masks themselves have suffered massive head-wounds doing God knows what after the shows. Ironically, he's the only member of the band classy enough to wear a tie.

7 Seven- Thrash Guitar, Kick-ass Beard: This is a man obsessed with the number seven. Maybe it's because it's the number of dirty words you're not allowed to say on TV. He likes to bend over when he plays, because he'll never be happy unless he's in constant back pain.

8 Corey- Lead Screams: He! is a world before he is a man. He! was a creature before he could stand. He! Will Remember before he forgets. BEFORE HE FORGETS THAT!

Discography

Singles

Wait, Wait, Wait, and Wait Some More - 1998
Spit it in - 1999
...Baby, One More Time - 2000
The Cuddly Anthem - 2001 (This song was banned from Columbia because of 9/11)
Amazing Grace - 2001
After I Remember - 2003
AAAA! - 2003
Insanely Social - 2009
All Girls are GONE!!! - 2010
I Love You - 2036

... gotta love slipknot

AlweeVon'Faux at 3:12 PM

hello stranger (:
Alwee Von' Faux
uncyclopedia ----- wow Wednesday, March 11, 2009, found this article, fucking funny.. even though they were dissing my fave band.. from uncyclopedia 0 Sid- Turntables: That's right, you read that correctly. Turntables in a heavy metal band. Why? Because they can, mother fuckers! Sid's masks have gone from a gas mask, to a skull, to Mr Roboto. Why? Because he can, mother fucker! 1 Joey Jordison- Lead Drums: Joey Joridson's total lack of drumming ability led to the addition of two more drummers to cover up his bad drumming. In a rare moment of slipknot empathy, the band was too nice to tell Joey to leave, and kept him on anyway. His mask is a kabuki mask and we're told it's very scary. 2 Paul The Pig- Bass: Paul started out as a pig, then a chipmunk, then this dog thing. Why the obsession with animals? It's what he eats for dinner. 3 Chris Fehn- Backup Drums, Backup Growls: Chris was the third drummer to join the band because dammit, two just aren't enough; his other job is to "sing" backup for Corey, so in theory, he could leave the band and it probably wouldn't make much of a difference at all. He is the only member of Slipknot who does not wear a mask, as no mask in existence could fit over his dildo-like Pinocchio nose. 4 Jim Root- Noise Guitar: Jim Root was the only member whose mask got less scary over time, going from this angry big chin thing, to his real face. He wears tight jeans because he is unaware of who the fan base contains. 5 Silent "133" Bob aka Spiky Guy- Head Bobs, Button Pushing: Nobody really knows what Silent Bob does at their shows, or even if he's even a real member of the band. He's always there in the back, head bangin' away behind some sort of pedestal. It looks cool, though. 6 Clown- Backup Drums, Backup Screams, Baseball Bat, Sex with the Stage Props: Clown is completely unpredictable. He'll get into fights with anyone for any reason, so long as there is money involved afterward, and he'll bang on anything with in reach. He can do anything except play music. His masks themselves have suffered massive head-wounds doing God knows what after the shows. Ironically, he's the only member of the band classy enough to wear a tie. 7 Seven- Thrash Guitar, Kick-ass Beard: This is a man obsessed with the number seven. Maybe it's because it's the number of dirty words you're not allowed to say on TV. He likes to bend over when he plays, because he'll never be happy unless he's in constant back pain. 8 Corey- Lead Screams: He! is a world before he is a man. He! was a creature before he could stand. He! Will Remember before he forgets. BEFORE HE FORGETS THAT! Discography Singles Wait, Wait, Wait, and Wait Some More - 1998 Spit it in - 1999 ...Baby, One More Time - 2000 The Cuddly Anthem - 2001 (This song was banned from Columbia because of 9/11) Amazing Grace - 2001 After I Remember - 2003 AAAA! - 2003 Insanely Social - 2009 All Girls are GONE!!! - 2010 I Love You - 2036 ... gotta love slipknot AlweeVon'Faux at 3:12 PM
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